Turn Setbacks into Setups
How Men Can Have Better Friendships
October 5, 2019
Society tells men to toughen up. ‘Boys don’t cry,” they say. But a lot of kids have fantastic social and emotional skills-they’re empathetic, they know how to listen, they’re sensitive to other people’s emotions. Then late adolescence happens, and boys go through an emotional shift. When they come out of it, they shy away from anything ‘emotional,’ and they grow into men, having lost those skills. Well, the good news is, you can recover those skills. Doing so will help you improve your friendships. Here are some suggestions.
Think About the Risks and Why
If you’re afraid to be open and honest about your feelings with other people, if you fear that they will take it the wrong way or that you’ll be disappointed or laughed at, acknowledge all those feelings. Be clear about why you want to do this and what the potential emotional risks may be. That will tell you why taking this step is necessary.
Accept Your Desire for Intimacy
If you want to communicate better with the people in your life, accept your own desire for that level of intimacy. Let them know by sharing articles about masculinity and friendship. Use that and other clever tactics to open up the conversation.
Vocalize Your Emotions
If something scares you, say it. Tell your friend, ‘I miss my grandfather,” or ‘I’m afraid I failed at work today.” There’s nothing wrong in letting your friends know that you’re afraid and vulnerable. By talking about your emotions, you normalize that practice and encourage them to follow suit.
Ask More Questions
It’s not prying when you ask your friends questions. Take the opportunity to learn more about your friends. Go beyond the small talk and dig deeper. Following up on them after a major life event-like a death in the family or a retrenchment-will tell your friend you care.
Talk to a Coach
If you’ve always found it awkward and difficult to communicate with others, find someone who will teach you the essentials of effective communication. Talk to a relationship coach in Phoenix, AZ. A seasoned lifestyle coach will have the skills, knowledge, and insight to help you change the way you speak. With guidance, you’ll learn to vocalize your emotions better. With the right articulation and tone, you’ll build deeper connections with the people you love.
Improve your friendships. Reach out to Hundred Life Design for a relationship coach in Phoenix, AZ.